In this week’s episode of the Sailing to Success Podcast Show, Lyndsay Phillips interviews Melissa Toler. Melissa is a writer, speaker, and certified health and wellness coach. Her work challenges the status quo about weight loss and helping women feel comfortable in their own skin. Her mission is to help women live incredible lives without having to change their bodies to do it.
MAIN QUESTIONS ASKED:
- What is Melissa’s backstory?
- Why do women feel their weight is linked to their self worth? What can they do to break that habit?
- What can we tell ourselves to help remove limiting beliefs?
- What tips would you give to people who are waiting for the perfect body before taking action?
- How does a woman’s personal body image affecting their lives and career?
- What are some of the rules that society tells us or we tell ourselves about food?
- What is the biggest issue that keeps coming up with women in their thoughts and habits?
- What speaking topic are you most passionate about?
- Are there any questions we can ask ourselves to help shape our perspectives and change our focus?
- Are there certain phrases or thoughts that we can use to reinforce a positive belief?
KEY LESSONS LEARNED:
Understanding Your Body
- Discovering the ideal weight for your body is important and different for everyone.
- The fashion and fitness world portray body images that aren’t sustainable in real life.
- Losing weight won’t necessarily make you happier.
Mindset and Self Worth
- Focus on your goals and your chosen path, what do you really want to achieve in life.
- Support from like minded people is key to breaking the relationship between self worth and body weight.
- Be aware of the way you think, negative self talk can be very destructive.
- “Your thoughts become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your destiny.”
- You can trace your results to what you believe.
- Fashion and fitness culture reinforces the idea that losing weight makes you a better person.
- In Western culture, women are commonly uncomfortable with themselves and their bodies. They feel like they need to work and improve themselves instead of feeling whole or complete.
- Women need to address their current beliefs and ask themselves “is this working for me? Is this serving me and helping me achieve my goals?”
Dealing With Limiting Beliefs
- Take a thought inventory.
- What do you believe about yourself as a women, as a person?
- How do those thoughts and beliefs translate into your actions and do they get you the results you truly want?
- Get clear on what you want to accomplish in the world during your lifetime.
- Take small steps to push your limits and comfort zone.
- Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you.
- Realize that it takes time to remove limiting beliefs and achieve your big goals, don’t get frustrated. Cultivate patience.
- Many women focus on their body image instead of their life goals.
- They attempt to master their weight instead of mastering a craft they truly care about.
- Weight can become a distraction from the important things in your life.
- Being conscious about body image can prevent women from taking actions in their business ie. Taking pictures of themselves for their website or speaking publicly.
- Change your focus to your end goals and the impact you can make on the world instead of your body image.
- “Envision what it would be like if you did it anyways”.
- We tell ourselves the myth that food is either good or bad.
- This shapes our perception about ourselves and what we eat. This can lead to guilt about eating “bad” food.
- It can also extend into relationships and careers.
- Your beliefs about food impact more than what you eat, it also affects your self worth, your body image, and all aspects of your life.
Weight Loss Solutions
- The diet industry is saturated with ways to help you lose weight without actually addressing the core beliefs you have about food.
- They are designed to keep you coming back as the cycle endlessly repeats itself.
- When you deal with yourself as a complete human being there is less desire to pursue another weight loss solution.
- Being confident in who you are and what your worth is the first step.
- Evaluate everything you believe about yourself and ask yourself questions.
- Question: How do I feel about being focused on my weight and my body for the rest of my life?
- Question: Is my body the most important thing about me?
- Question: What is it that I can contribute to this world?
- The questions you should ask should challenge your preconceived beliefs about yourself and what you are capable of.
- You are your own worst critic. Focus on self compassion and be willing to appreciate yourself and your accomplishments.
- Don’t let your inner critic run your day.
- Don’t let your body image and weight hold you back from doing what you want.
- Get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
- If you have a mission or feel like you have something important to do, don’t wait for circumstances or your body to be perfect. Your life is happening now.
LINKS TO RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Get Melissa’s free e-Book: The Body Confident Manifesto www.melissatoler.com.